S or No S

There has been a long-running inner dissonance concerning my tendency to say “fudgicle” even though the world I exist in clearly says “fudgsicle.” Last night I took part in a lively scholarly debate on this very topic, and research was conducted on various handheld Internet-enabled devices. REVELATIONS OCCURRED.

Our Findings

Yes, “fudgsicle” is the official brand name from the Popsicle company. An expansive survey of the planet reveals that mostly only old people, folks north of Boston, and scattered handfuls of weirdos say “fudgicle.” But why? From where did this linguistic snack divergence originate? Why does it persist among certain primitive tribes and probably Afflecks? Well, a bit of googling reveals that the Joe Lowe Corporation of New York actually had a bona fide product without the S:

The infallible Wikipedia proclaims: “Fudgsicle is a registered trademark of Unilever. In the early 20th century, the product was sold as Fudgicle.” So while Fudgsicle is the modern/popular choice, Fudgicle is not incorrect. It has apparently survived as a mini-sub-regional variation (parts of Massachusetts, maybe a little upstate NY).

Throughout my youth, I’d thought the “Fudgicle” pronunciation was correct. I’d say it and get a funny look or get corrected. Even now, as I sit at my computer machine, a red squiggly line sits below “Fudgicle” but not “Fudgsicle.” But I RISE ABOVE IT , not unlike THE MIGHTY PHEONIX, after being PERSECUTED FOR MY BELIEFS for UNTOLD DECADES, I have been VINDICATED BY SNACK HISTORY and THE INTERNET. I now know THE TRUTH. And it has SET ME FREE.

Originally published in 2012. Read more Short Stories & Other Writing.